Feeling Lost in The World - I'm Just a Girl

Have you ever felt like, “I am searching for my purpose constantly; I never fully start anything because the truth is I am afraid to start something and it does not line up with my purpose. I am afraid to move forward and make decisions because what if I make the wrong decision and then can’t go back.” Sis, I once felt like this right after I had my first baby. I literally was soooo double minded and could not make my mind up which is absolutely terrible. This led me to just living without feeling - like I was just floating through life and like I was not established. I often felt like I was in a dream life state and would dissociate often to get my mind out of the everyday battles of life. You know, finding balance between motherhood and womanhood, learning how to take care of an entire household at the tender age of 22 and still not knowing who I was as a person was extremely overwhelming. So, how could I know who I was as a human being? How could I teach my daughter who she is if I didn’t even know myself?? One day, there came a point where I was just down bad yall! I was in bed crying (those unclean spirits aka demons were tearing me UP)!! I literally cried out to God after laying in bed for days. Mind you, my daughter was one at the time and we were renting a three bedroom house at the time with a big backyard…just to stay in my main bedroom with the door closed all day. This is how much these demons were getting to my mind yall. So, one day, I cried out to God and said, “GOD! I am running out of faith. I don’t know WHERE it went. If you are real, show me. Give me faith the size of a mustard seed.” I did not realize how powerful this prayer would be at that moment. This is when my SOUL started to renew day by day. This was the beginning of me realizing that God is so supernatural and that He is indeed REAL! This was the time I got saved.